For my portfolio, I chose my This I Believe Essay, Application Essay, Proposal, and Trend Analysis. I chose these three because I feel that the evolution of my writing shines bright throughout the lot of them. In all four of them, I made precise and important corrections and held true to the actual purpose of the papers. Out of all of the essays I've written this semester, these four are, in my honest opinion, the best selected to exemplify my writing for a portfolio.
The This I Believe Essay was meant to have the writer talk about something they felt passionate about. I chose this essay because I felt that I made my paper strong enough for any reader to really connect with it. After reading some example papers, I decided to write about the importance of math and science in peoples lives. My partner and teacher both mainly brought grammatical errors to my attention, but also the need for more substance in my paragraph about math. The only major change I made to the essay for my second draft was adding detail to my explanation of the importance of math, and edit the quote from my old math teacher.
For the Application Essay, we were supposed to find a colleges application essay and do exactly what it asked of the applicants. I chose one of the application questions from in our english book, asking the applicant to describe an experience that really changed them as a person, as well as their perspective on some sort of issue. I talked about my first hand experience with uniforms in highschool, and how I went from hating them to thinking there's a good reason for them. I chose this essay because I felt it really brought out my ability to find what the prompt is asking for, and I met it with great force with an essay about my personal experience. My partner pointed out my grammatical errors as well as what sentences just didn't work with the flow of my paper. The professor pointed out that I ought to explain just how uniforms were of regional, national, or international importance like the question states. I really edited the third paragraph. I deleted some sentences, which got rid of some confusion the reader might have gone through. My problem was that it sort of jumped all over the place, but by editing it a little bit, that was all cleared up.
Our Proposal papers were meant to be on a local issue, and was meant to discuss possible solutions that would help to fix the problem. I chose to write my essay on a student at Bridgewater State who threatened to shoot up the school, and preventative measures students and teachers can take to help stressed out students before they hit that point. I chose this paper because out of all that I've written this semester, this paper has the best editing. If you look at the first draft, where my partner told me to add more about the shooter, you can see that I took her advice in the second draft. I drew upon an entirely new source to add plenty of more detail to my paper. I also added an entirely new set of sentences to really go into my explanation of how students can spot the problem before it gets out of hand.
My last paper in my portfolio, my Trend Analysis paper, is my most recent of all the essays. In this, I talk about peoples opinion of higher education, and what they feel lands them with a better job. I chose this essay because I feel it really reflects my ability to incorporate raw facts and numbers into my essays, while still keeping them interesting. My partner and professor said that I ought to include more information about years past on the subject. I had a hard time improving on that thought, as my poll sites only carry very recent polling information. The subject was too ambiguous to google. But that didn't stop me from making changes like correcting grammatical errors, switching up sentences, and overall making the final presentation of my thoughts more structured and stronger to the reader.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Analyzing a Trend Second Draft
Americans and Higher Education
The average American has come to feel that to get a good job, one must first seek a degree of some sort. Most Americans find that, with a college educations, many more job opportunities arise as well. The evidence from very recent polls makes this an undeniable fact. But what could possibly cause this trend among Americans? What are the implications of such a collective thought? Only time will tell, but speculations can be made.
Around late May of 2011, a noteworthy poll website known to be quite credible and accurate in its findings called Gallup questioned a vast amount of Americans about their thoughts and opinions of higher education. When asked if having a degree is essential for getting a good job in this country, 69% voted strongly agree, 19% voted neither agree nor disagree, and only 11% said strongly disagree. The questionnaire went on to ask "which of the following is the main reason why students get education beyond high school?" The results were staggering. 54% answered "to earn more money". Following behind that, 33% answered "to get a good job". Only 5% answered "to become a well-rounded person", 3% "to learn more about the world", 1% "to learn to think critically", 3% "all of the above", and 1% voted "none of the above". Even with most Americans being aware of the poor state of the economy and the difficulty in the job market, 57% agreed that having a college degree would better a persons chances of finding a worthwhile one.
Americans leanings towards higher education are not unfounded, either. Another poll by Gallup supports this completely. Another extensive poll was done from January 2nd to September 30st of 2011, with impressive results. Among college graduates, 73% are employed full time for an employer, 7% were fully self employed, and 9% were employed part time without wanting to be employed full time. Postgraduates also had a percentage of 73% employed by a full time employer. Technical/Vocational school graduates were reported as 67% employed full time by an employer. While people with a high school diploma or less were at 58% fully employed by an employer. To further drive this point home, only 9% of postgraduates and 12% of college graduates reported being under employed, and 4% of postgraduates and 6% of college graduates were completely unemployed. Among technical/vocational school graduates, 18% were underemployed and 9% were unemployed. Even further down the list, people with a highschool diploma or less were at 25% underemployed and 13% unemployed. These are the kind of results that just can't be argued with.
Clearly, Americans feel the importance of furthering education just by seeing it. These are the kind of results that shine through, that everyone is aware of. The job market is a fight for survival, and whatever sells will make itself clear. If college graduates get better jobs easier, the American people pick up on that.
Getting a good job in life is something stressed to young Americans by relatives, teachers, and the like constantly. Ask any teenager how they feel about dropping out or not recieving a college education, especially in high schools that really focus on pumping up students for college, and you will hear something along the lines of "I don't want to be flipping burgers for the rest of my life." Americans are raised to want a worthwhile, quality career, and they are also raised to believe a college education can give that to them.
The effects of this mindset of the American public should already be quite clear. More students attend college out of high school, more Americans go back to college to further their education. College starts to become the next essential step in growing up instead of something completely optional.
So what sort of implications does this have for the American public? Well, as Gallup says on their Most Americans See College as Essential to Getting a Good Job article, "Some college graduates and post-graduates remain out of work, which may partly reflect today's challenging economy and jobs climate. However, it also suggests that leaders can do more to ensure that college graduates have the quality of education and skills that employers are looking for."
"Recent research by Georgetown University's Center on Education and the Workforce proposes that the U.S. needs more college graduates with a quality education and skills suited for today's job market. Gallup/Lumina data suggest that the majority of Americans would agree with this assessment."
This mindset among Americans is an interesting one indeed. Not only because the polls were flooded with so many people agreeing on the importance of an education, but also because this opinion of the general public is nearly spot on with the evidence. Americans are right, those with higher education seem to have more chances for full employment.
Bibliography
Marlar, Jenny. "Seven in 10 College Grads Are Employed Full Time for Employer." Gallup.Com - Daily News, Polls, Public Opinion on Government, Politics, Economics, Management. 10 Oct. 2011. Web. 05 Dec. 2011. <http://www.gallup.com/poll/149981/Seven-College-Grads-Employed-Full-Time-Employer.aspx>.
p.w. I feel like I have a solid essay with to-the-point facts on the subject. Are my points throughout my essay clear? Are the causes and effects balanced?
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Analyzing a Trend First Draft
Americans and Higher Education
The average American has come to feel that to get a good job, one must first seek a degree of some sort. Most Americans find that, with a college educations, many more job opportunities arise as well. The evidence from very recent polls makes this an undeniable fact. But what could possibly cause this trend among Americans? What are the implications of such a collective thought? Only time will tell, but speculations can be made.
Around late May of 2011, a noteworthy poll website known to be quite credible and accurate in its findings called Gallup questioned a vast amount of Americans about their thoughts and opinions of higher education. When asked if having a degree is essential for getting a good job in this country, 69% voted strongly agree, 19% voted neither agree nor disagree, and only 11% said strongly disagree. The questionnaire went on to ask "which of the following is the main reason why students get education beyond high school?" The results were staggering. 54% answered "to earn more money". Following behind that, 33% answered "to get a good job". Only 5% answered "to become a well-rounded person", 3% "to learn more about the world", 1% "to learn to think critically", 3% "all of the above", and 1% voted "none of the above". Even with most Americans being aware of the poor state of the economy and the difficulty in the job market, 57% agreed that having a college degree would better a persons chances of finding a worthwhile one.
Americans leanings towards higher education are not unfounded, either. Another poll by Gallup supports this completely. Another extensive poll was done from January 2nd to September 30st of 2011, with impressive results. Among college graduates, 73% are employed full time for an employer, 7% were fully self employed, and 9% were employed part time without wanting to be employed full time. Postgraduates also had a percentage of 73% employed by a full time employer. Technical/Vocational school graduates were reported as 67% employed full time by an employer. While people with a high school diploma or less were at 58% fully employed by an employer. To further drive this point home, only 9% of postgraduates and 12% of college graduates reported being under employed, and 4% of postgraduates and 6% of college graduates were completely unemployed. Among technical/vocational school graduates, 18% were underemployed and 9% were unemployed. Even further down the list, people with a highschool diploma or less were at 25% underemployed and 13% unemployed. These are the kind of results that just can't be argued with.
Clearly, Americans feel the importance of furthering education just by seeing it. These are the kind of results that shine through, that everyone is aware of. The job market is a fight for survival, and whatever sells will make itself clear. If college graduates get better jobs easier, the American people pick up on that.
Getting a good job in life is something stressed to young Americans by relatives, teachers, and the like constantly. Ask any teenager how they feel about dropping out or not recieving a college education, especially in high schools that really focus on pumping up students for college, and you will hear something along the lines of "I don't want to be flipping burgers for the rest of my life." Americans are raised to want a worthwhile, quality career, and they are also raised to believe a college education can give that to them.
The effects of this mindset of the American public should already be quite clear. More students attend college out of high school, more Americans go back to college to further their education. College starts to become the next essential step in growing up instead of something completely optional.
So what sort of implications does this have for the American public? Well, as Gallup says on their Most Americans See College as Essential to Getting a Good Job article, "Some college graduates and post-graduates remain out of work, which may partly reflect today's challenging economy and jobs climate. However, it also suggests that leaders can do more to ensure that college graduates have the quality of education and skills that employers are looking for."
"Recent research by Georgetown University's Center on Education and the Workforce proposes that the U.S. needs more college graduates with a quality education and skills suited for today's job market. Gallup/Lumina data suggest that the majority of Americans would agree with this assessment."
This mindset among Americans is an interesting one indeed. Not only because the polls were flooded with so many people agreeing on the importance of an education, but also because this opinion of the general public is nearly spot on with the evidence. Americans are right, those with higher education seem to have more chances for full employment.
Bibliography
Marlar, Jenny. "Seven in 10 College Grads Are Employed Full Time for Employer." Gallup.Com - Daily News, Polls, Public Opinion on Government, Politics, Economics, Management. 10 Oct. 2011. Web. 05 Dec. 2011. <http://www.gallup.com/poll/149981/Seven-College-Grads-Employed-Full-Time-Employer.aspx>.
P.W. I feel like I've really a lot of substance to this paper. It's very factual, and I like that about it so far. I would like to discuss the effects more in the second draft because I feel that section of my paper is weak.
Is the writing clear? Is it easy to understand?
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