For my portfolio, I chose my This I Believe Essay, Application Essay, Proposal, and Trend Analysis. I chose these three because I feel that the evolution of my writing shines bright throughout the lot of them. In all four of them, I made precise and important corrections and held true to the actual purpose of the papers. Out of all of the essays I've written this semester, these four are, in my honest opinion, the best selected to exemplify my writing for a portfolio.
The This I Believe Essay was meant to have the writer talk about something they felt passionate about. I chose this essay because I felt that I made my paper strong enough for any reader to really connect with it. After reading some example papers, I decided to write about the importance of math and science in peoples lives. My partner and teacher both mainly brought grammatical errors to my attention, but also the need for more substance in my paragraph about math. The only major change I made to the essay for my second draft was adding detail to my explanation of the importance of math, and edit the quote from my old math teacher.
For the Application Essay, we were supposed to find a colleges application essay and do exactly what it asked of the applicants. I chose one of the application questions from in our english book, asking the applicant to describe an experience that really changed them as a person, as well as their perspective on some sort of issue. I talked about my first hand experience with uniforms in highschool, and how I went from hating them to thinking there's a good reason for them. I chose this essay because I felt it really brought out my ability to find what the prompt is asking for, and I met it with great force with an essay about my personal experience. My partner pointed out my grammatical errors as well as what sentences just didn't work with the flow of my paper. The professor pointed out that I ought to explain just how uniforms were of regional, national, or international importance like the question states. I really edited the third paragraph. I deleted some sentences, which got rid of some confusion the reader might have gone through. My problem was that it sort of jumped all over the place, but by editing it a little bit, that was all cleared up.
Our Proposal papers were meant to be on a local issue, and was meant to discuss possible solutions that would help to fix the problem. I chose to write my essay on a student at Bridgewater State who threatened to shoot up the school, and preventative measures students and teachers can take to help stressed out students before they hit that point. I chose this paper because out of all that I've written this semester, this paper has the best editing. If you look at the first draft, where my partner told me to add more about the shooter, you can see that I took her advice in the second draft. I drew upon an entirely new source to add plenty of more detail to my paper. I also added an entirely new set of sentences to really go into my explanation of how students can spot the problem before it gets out of hand.
My last paper in my portfolio, my Trend Analysis paper, is my most recent of all the essays. In this, I talk about peoples opinion of higher education, and what they feel lands them with a better job. I chose this essay because I feel it really reflects my ability to incorporate raw facts and numbers into my essays, while still keeping them interesting. My partner and professor said that I ought to include more information about years past on the subject. I had a hard time improving on that thought, as my poll sites only carry very recent polling information. The subject was too ambiguous to google. But that didn't stop me from making changes like correcting grammatical errors, switching up sentences, and overall making the final presentation of my thoughts more structured and stronger to the reader.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Analyzing a Trend Second Draft
Americans and Higher Education
The average American has come to feel that to get a good job, one must first seek a degree of some sort. Most Americans find that, with a college educations, many more job opportunities arise as well. The evidence from very recent polls makes this an undeniable fact. But what could possibly cause this trend among Americans? What are the implications of such a collective thought? Only time will tell, but speculations can be made.
Around late May of 2011, a noteworthy poll website known to be quite credible and accurate in its findings called Gallup questioned a vast amount of Americans about their thoughts and opinions of higher education. When asked if having a degree is essential for getting a good job in this country, 69% voted strongly agree, 19% voted neither agree nor disagree, and only 11% said strongly disagree. The questionnaire went on to ask "which of the following is the main reason why students get education beyond high school?" The results were staggering. 54% answered "to earn more money". Following behind that, 33% answered "to get a good job". Only 5% answered "to become a well-rounded person", 3% "to learn more about the world", 1% "to learn to think critically", 3% "all of the above", and 1% voted "none of the above". Even with most Americans being aware of the poor state of the economy and the difficulty in the job market, 57% agreed that having a college degree would better a persons chances of finding a worthwhile one.
Americans leanings towards higher education are not unfounded, either. Another poll by Gallup supports this completely. Another extensive poll was done from January 2nd to September 30st of 2011, with impressive results. Among college graduates, 73% are employed full time for an employer, 7% were fully self employed, and 9% were employed part time without wanting to be employed full time. Postgraduates also had a percentage of 73% employed by a full time employer. Technical/Vocational school graduates were reported as 67% employed full time by an employer. While people with a high school diploma or less were at 58% fully employed by an employer. To further drive this point home, only 9% of postgraduates and 12% of college graduates reported being under employed, and 4% of postgraduates and 6% of college graduates were completely unemployed. Among technical/vocational school graduates, 18% were underemployed and 9% were unemployed. Even further down the list, people with a highschool diploma or less were at 25% underemployed and 13% unemployed. These are the kind of results that just can't be argued with.
Clearly, Americans feel the importance of furthering education just by seeing it. These are the kind of results that shine through, that everyone is aware of. The job market is a fight for survival, and whatever sells will make itself clear. If college graduates get better jobs easier, the American people pick up on that.
Getting a good job in life is something stressed to young Americans by relatives, teachers, and the like constantly. Ask any teenager how they feel about dropping out or not recieving a college education, especially in high schools that really focus on pumping up students for college, and you will hear something along the lines of "I don't want to be flipping burgers for the rest of my life." Americans are raised to want a worthwhile, quality career, and they are also raised to believe a college education can give that to them.
The effects of this mindset of the American public should already be quite clear. More students attend college out of high school, more Americans go back to college to further their education. College starts to become the next essential step in growing up instead of something completely optional.
So what sort of implications does this have for the American public? Well, as Gallup says on their Most Americans See College as Essential to Getting a Good Job article, "Some college graduates and post-graduates remain out of work, which may partly reflect today's challenging economy and jobs climate. However, it also suggests that leaders can do more to ensure that college graduates have the quality of education and skills that employers are looking for."
"Recent research by Georgetown University's Center on Education and the Workforce proposes that the U.S. needs more college graduates with a quality education and skills suited for today's job market. Gallup/Lumina data suggest that the majority of Americans would agree with this assessment."
This mindset among Americans is an interesting one indeed. Not only because the polls were flooded with so many people agreeing on the importance of an education, but also because this opinion of the general public is nearly spot on with the evidence. Americans are right, those with higher education seem to have more chances for full employment.
Bibliography
Marlar, Jenny. "Seven in 10 College Grads Are Employed Full Time for Employer." Gallup.Com - Daily News, Polls, Public Opinion on Government, Politics, Economics, Management. 10 Oct. 2011. Web. 05 Dec. 2011. <http://www.gallup.com/poll/149981/Seven-College-Grads-Employed-Full-Time-Employer.aspx>.
p.w. I feel like I have a solid essay with to-the-point facts on the subject. Are my points throughout my essay clear? Are the causes and effects balanced?
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Analyzing a Trend First Draft
Americans and Higher Education
The average American has come to feel that to get a good job, one must first seek a degree of some sort. Most Americans find that, with a college educations, many more job opportunities arise as well. The evidence from very recent polls makes this an undeniable fact. But what could possibly cause this trend among Americans? What are the implications of such a collective thought? Only time will tell, but speculations can be made.
Around late May of 2011, a noteworthy poll website known to be quite credible and accurate in its findings called Gallup questioned a vast amount of Americans about their thoughts and opinions of higher education. When asked if having a degree is essential for getting a good job in this country, 69% voted strongly agree, 19% voted neither agree nor disagree, and only 11% said strongly disagree. The questionnaire went on to ask "which of the following is the main reason why students get education beyond high school?" The results were staggering. 54% answered "to earn more money". Following behind that, 33% answered "to get a good job". Only 5% answered "to become a well-rounded person", 3% "to learn more about the world", 1% "to learn to think critically", 3% "all of the above", and 1% voted "none of the above". Even with most Americans being aware of the poor state of the economy and the difficulty in the job market, 57% agreed that having a college degree would better a persons chances of finding a worthwhile one.
Americans leanings towards higher education are not unfounded, either. Another poll by Gallup supports this completely. Another extensive poll was done from January 2nd to September 30st of 2011, with impressive results. Among college graduates, 73% are employed full time for an employer, 7% were fully self employed, and 9% were employed part time without wanting to be employed full time. Postgraduates also had a percentage of 73% employed by a full time employer. Technical/Vocational school graduates were reported as 67% employed full time by an employer. While people with a high school diploma or less were at 58% fully employed by an employer. To further drive this point home, only 9% of postgraduates and 12% of college graduates reported being under employed, and 4% of postgraduates and 6% of college graduates were completely unemployed. Among technical/vocational school graduates, 18% were underemployed and 9% were unemployed. Even further down the list, people with a highschool diploma or less were at 25% underemployed and 13% unemployed. These are the kind of results that just can't be argued with.
Clearly, Americans feel the importance of furthering education just by seeing it. These are the kind of results that shine through, that everyone is aware of. The job market is a fight for survival, and whatever sells will make itself clear. If college graduates get better jobs easier, the American people pick up on that.
Getting a good job in life is something stressed to young Americans by relatives, teachers, and the like constantly. Ask any teenager how they feel about dropping out or not recieving a college education, especially in high schools that really focus on pumping up students for college, and you will hear something along the lines of "I don't want to be flipping burgers for the rest of my life." Americans are raised to want a worthwhile, quality career, and they are also raised to believe a college education can give that to them.
The effects of this mindset of the American public should already be quite clear. More students attend college out of high school, more Americans go back to college to further their education. College starts to become the next essential step in growing up instead of something completely optional.
So what sort of implications does this have for the American public? Well, as Gallup says on their Most Americans See College as Essential to Getting a Good Job article, "Some college graduates and post-graduates remain out of work, which may partly reflect today's challenging economy and jobs climate. However, it also suggests that leaders can do more to ensure that college graduates have the quality of education and skills that employers are looking for."
"Recent research by Georgetown University's Center on Education and the Workforce proposes that the U.S. needs more college graduates with a quality education and skills suited for today's job market. Gallup/Lumina data suggest that the majority of Americans would agree with this assessment."
This mindset among Americans is an interesting one indeed. Not only because the polls were flooded with so many people agreeing on the importance of an education, but also because this opinion of the general public is nearly spot on with the evidence. Americans are right, those with higher education seem to have more chances for full employment.
Bibliography
Marlar, Jenny. "Seven in 10 College Grads Are Employed Full Time for Employer." Gallup.Com - Daily News, Polls, Public Opinion on Government, Politics, Economics, Management. 10 Oct. 2011. Web. 05 Dec. 2011. <http://www.gallup.com/poll/149981/Seven-College-Grads-Employed-Full-Time-Employer.aspx>.
P.W. I feel like I've really a lot of substance to this paper. It's very factual, and I like that about it so far. I would like to discuss the effects more in the second draft because I feel that section of my paper is weak.
Is the writing clear? Is it easy to understand?
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Annotating a Scholarly Article Second Draft
O. V. Suvorova, Original Neutrino Fluxes and Hidden Mass in the Universe, Physics of Atomic Nuclei, 2011. Vol. 74, No. 1. pp. 122-129
Article URL: http://resources.metapress.com/pdf-preview.axd?code=d4vu34n463726841&size=largest
In his essay, Suvorova analyzes the presence and nature of dark matter in the universe. He also analyzes dark matter's relation to neutrinos and weak interactions. He says that our universe is comprised of 95% dark matter and dark energy, which can be calculated with the help of the cosmic microwave background, gravitational lensing, and dynamics of galaxy clusters. According to electroweak theory, Suvorova says, only weak interactions can go on between the dark matter particles because of large boson masses. This short range doesn't allow for strong and electromagnetic processes.
Suvorova makes an interesting point in his essay. He quotes other theoretical physicists, drawing upon the experiments and work of other scholars to make his case. Every equation and every claim has a link to another physicists work, further proving that what he has to say about dark matter is widely accepted. He is also associated with the Institute for Nuclear Research and the Russian Academy of Sciences, further proving that this man knows what he is talking about in the area of physics this paper touches on.
P.W. I've done a little more research on the author to provide more details on his credibility. On my first draft, I felt the second paragraph was lacking, but I made sure to address the issue in my second draft. If I had any question for the reader, I would ask: Does the author seem credible to you? Does this annotation make you want to understand more about nuclear physics?
Article URL: http://resources.metapress.com/pdf-preview.axd?code=d4vu34n463726841&size=largest
In his essay, Suvorova analyzes the presence and nature of dark matter in the universe. He also analyzes dark matter's relation to neutrinos and weak interactions. He says that our universe is comprised of 95% dark matter and dark energy, which can be calculated with the help of the cosmic microwave background, gravitational lensing, and dynamics of galaxy clusters. According to electroweak theory, Suvorova says, only weak interactions can go on between the dark matter particles because of large boson masses. This short range doesn't allow for strong and electromagnetic processes.
Suvorova makes an interesting point in his essay. He quotes other theoretical physicists, drawing upon the experiments and work of other scholars to make his case. Every equation and every claim has a link to another physicists work, further proving that what he has to say about dark matter is widely accepted. He is also associated with the Institute for Nuclear Research and the Russian Academy of Sciences, further proving that this man knows what he is talking about in the area of physics this paper touches on.
P.W. I've done a little more research on the author to provide more details on his credibility. On my first draft, I felt the second paragraph was lacking, but I made sure to address the issue in my second draft. If I had any question for the reader, I would ask: Does the author seem credible to you? Does this annotation make you want to understand more about nuclear physics?
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Annotating a Scholarly Article
O. V. Suvorova, Original Neutrino Fluxes and Hidden Mass in the Universe, Physics of Atomic Nuclei, 2011. Vol. 74, No. 1. pp. 122-129
In his essay, Suvorova analyzes the presence and nature of dark matter in the universe. He also analyzes dark matter's relation to neutrinos and weak interactions. He says that our universe is comprised of 95% dark matter and dark energy, which can be calculated with the help of the cosmic microwave background, gravitational lensing, and dynamics of galaxy clusters. According to electroweak theory, Suvorova says, only weak interactions can go on between the dark matter particles because of large boson masses. This short range doesn't allow for strong and electromagnetic processes.
Suvorova makes an interesting point in his essay. He quotes other theoretical physicists, drawing upon the experiments and work of other scholars to make his case. Every equation and every claim has a link to another physicists work, further proving that what he has to say about dark matter is widely accepted.
P.W. I feel like I've read and reviewed this article accurately and clearly, without losing any critical points from the work in my brief review. If I had to ask the reader something, I'd ask: is my first paragraph clear and fluid? Do you understand Suvorova's point?
In his essay, Suvorova analyzes the presence and nature of dark matter in the universe. He also analyzes dark matter's relation to neutrinos and weak interactions. He says that our universe is comprised of 95% dark matter and dark energy, which can be calculated with the help of the cosmic microwave background, gravitational lensing, and dynamics of galaxy clusters. According to electroweak theory, Suvorova says, only weak interactions can go on between the dark matter particles because of large boson masses. This short range doesn't allow for strong and electromagnetic processes.
Suvorova makes an interesting point in his essay. He quotes other theoretical physicists, drawing upon the experiments and work of other scholars to make his case. Every equation and every claim has a link to another physicists work, further proving that what he has to say about dark matter is widely accepted.
P.W. I feel like I've read and reviewed this article accurately and clearly, without losing any critical points from the work in my brief review. If I had to ask the reader something, I'd ask: is my first paragraph clear and fluid? Do you understand Suvorova's point?
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Proposal Second Draft
As the stories pile up in the news and on the internet, it becomes an
increasingly undeniable fact that school violence is on the rise.
College students are among those getting angrier and resorting to
violence in their words and actions. This can be brought on by many
factors, but there are some things that all fellow students can do to
help the situation.
But before that, what exactly causes a person to reach this
boiling point of emotion? The simple answer is stress. As a college
student, one can be under a lot of pressure. Pressure to keep grades
up, to keep a job or two, to join activities, to please friends, and
pressure to remain stable even under the weight of it all. A lot of
the time, a student can feel overworked and underappreciated. It's an
all too common theme at this age. This built up stress can lead to
feelings of alienation and can bring a young person down to a bad
place emotionally.
This may have been the case last October, when charges were made
against a Bridgewater State University student by the name of
Kristopher J. Sadeck. He was reported as having threatened to smuggle
guns and a nail bomb onto the campus. The student, at only twenty
years old, threatened to bring an AK-47 assault rifle and a nail bomb
with the intention of killing people. Kristopher Sadeck was arrested
for these threats against his university, as well as being found with
a military style knife in his dorm room. (Taunton Daily Gazette,
Kelleher Harris, October 28, 2011)
While it is currently uncertain exactly why he was pushed to this
point, based on his roommate’s statements about his constant threats
of suicide and violence, it is safe to conclude that the stresses of
college brought him to the breaking point (Enterprise News, Kelleher
Harris, October 28, 2011). Are stories similar to Kristopher’s ready
to unravel any day now on a BCC campus, acted out by students with
similar problems? That's entirely possible. But are there things that
fellow students can do to prevent something like this from happening
again? In a word, yes. There are a few simple steps that any student
can take to help those around them from falling into such an awful
state.
Bringing awareness to the issue is certainly one place to start.
Young adults sometimes don't realize what's happening to them inside
their mind until it's too late. Encouraging students who are starting
to feel stressed and out of control to seek the help of a nurse on
campus is a good first step. Attention can be brought to this outlet
through use of posters and emails. From there, the nurse could handle
the student’s specific problems and inform them on what steps they
should take to find stability.
But to do this, one must first find those who need help.
Sometimes, it's easy to spot someone who's really stressed. The way a
person carries him or herself, talks, etc. can reveal their level of
stress and agitation easily. Sometimes it takes active participation
on the part of an individual to figure out if something is wrong; they
have to point it out and talk it through with them. It doesn't take a
long term best friend to talk things out with a person, help them
organize their thoughts, make them realize what's important, and keep
them from doing something stupid that could mess up their future. All
it takes is a willingness to help others.
Being aware of violence in schools settings doesn’t mean one has
to live in fear of it’s specter. Rather, it’s empowering because it
gives students the opportunity to help their fellow classmates,
knowing that it won’t cost them anything but a few moments of their
time. If someone seems upset or off, talk to them. One friend could
be the difference between a young person going on to finish their
degree, or continuing down a path of emotional distress that could
lead to jail. Don't sit back and watch that happen to someone - be
active in the lives of your fellow peers and stop tragedies before
they start.
Bibliography
Harris, Kelleher. "Student at Bridgewater State Charged with Death Threats - Taunton, MA - The Taunton Gazette." The Taunton Gazette. 28 Oct. 2011. Web. 06 Nov. 2011. <http://www.tauntongazette.com/education/x671077192/BSU-student-charged-with-threatening-to-kill-people>.
increasingly undeniable fact that school violence is on the rise.
College students are among those getting angrier and resorting to
violence in their words and actions. This can be brought on by many
factors, but there are some things that all fellow students can do to
help the situation.
But before that, what exactly causes a person to reach this
boiling point of emotion? The simple answer is stress. As a college
student, one can be under a lot of pressure. Pressure to keep grades
up, to keep a job or two, to join activities, to please friends, and
pressure to remain stable even under the weight of it all. A lot of
the time, a student can feel overworked and underappreciated. It's an
all too common theme at this age. This built up stress can lead to
feelings of alienation and can bring a young person down to a bad
place emotionally.
This may have been the case last October, when charges were made
against a Bridgewater State University student by the name of
Kristopher J. Sadeck. He was reported as having threatened to smuggle
guns and a nail bomb onto the campus. The student, at only twenty
years old, threatened to bring an AK-47 assault rifle and a nail bomb
with the intention of killing people. Kristopher Sadeck was arrested
for these threats against his university, as well as being found with
a military style knife in his dorm room. (Taunton Daily Gazette,
Kelleher Harris, October 28, 2011)
While it is currently uncertain exactly why he was pushed to this
point, based on his roommate’s statements about his constant threats
of suicide and violence, it is safe to conclude that the stresses of
college brought him to the breaking point (Enterprise News, Kelleher
Harris, October 28, 2011). Are stories similar to Kristopher’s ready
to unravel any day now on a BCC campus, acted out by students with
similar problems? That's entirely possible. But are there things that
fellow students can do to prevent something like this from happening
again? In a word, yes. There are a few simple steps that any student
can take to help those around them from falling into such an awful
state.
Bringing awareness to the issue is certainly one place to start.
Young adults sometimes don't realize what's happening to them inside
their mind until it's too late. Encouraging students who are starting
to feel stressed and out of control to seek the help of a nurse on
campus is a good first step. Attention can be brought to this outlet
through use of posters and emails. From there, the nurse could handle
the student’s specific problems and inform them on what steps they
should take to find stability.
But to do this, one must first find those who need help.
Sometimes, it's easy to spot someone who's really stressed. The way a
person carries him or herself, talks, etc. can reveal their level of
stress and agitation easily. Sometimes it takes active participation
on the part of an individual to figure out if something is wrong; they
have to point it out and talk it through with them. It doesn't take a
long term best friend to talk things out with a person, help them
organize their thoughts, make them realize what's important, and keep
them from doing something stupid that could mess up their future. All
it takes is a willingness to help others.
Being aware of violence in schools settings doesn’t mean one has
to live in fear of it’s specter. Rather, it’s empowering because it
gives students the opportunity to help their fellow classmates,
knowing that it won’t cost them anything but a few moments of their
time. If someone seems upset or off, talk to them. One friend could
be the difference between a young person going on to finish their
degree, or continuing down a path of emotional distress that could
lead to jail. Don't sit back and watch that happen to someone - be
active in the lives of your fellow peers and stop tragedies before
they start.
Bibliography
Harris, Kelleher. "Student at Bridgewater State Charged with Death Threats - Taunton, MA - The Taunton Gazette." The Taunton Gazette. 28 Oct. 2011. Web. 06 Nov. 2011. <http://www.tauntongazette.com/education/x671077192/BSU-student-charged-with-threatening-to-kill-people>.
Harris, Kelleher. "Student Being Evaluated after Claiming to Have a Deadly ‘surprise’ for BSU Campus - Brockton, MA - The Enterprise." The Enterprise, MA News - Brockton, MA - The Enterprise. 28 Oct. 2011. Web. 12 Nov. 2011. http://www.enterprisenews.com/bsu/x163303554/Student-being-evaluated-after-claiming-to-have-a-deadly-surprise-for-BSU-campus.
P.W.
I feel like I've really cleaned up my essay and made my solution more clear. I added more information about the BSU guy by drawing upon another similar news story on the same incident.
Has the information from the similar article added enough information about Kristophers motives? Have I made the threat of this problem in our community clear enough to the reader?
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Proposal First Draft
Whether heard on the news or read online, it's an undeniable fact that violence in a school setting is on the rise. Even college students are getting angrier and letting out violence in their words and actions. This can be brought on by many factors, but there is something any fellow student can do to help the situation.
But before that, what exactly can cause a person to get to this boiling point of emotion? The simple answer is stress. As a college student, one can be under a lot of pressure. Pressure to keep grades up, to keep a job or two, to join activities, to please friends, and pressure to remain stable even under all that weight. All of this built up stress can lead to really negative emotions and can bring a young person down to a bad place. A lot of the time, a student can feel overworked and underappreciated. It's an all too common theme at this age.
Just around the end of October, charges were made against a Bridgewater State University student by the name of Kristopher J. Sadeck for threatening to bring guns and a nail bomb on campus. The student, at only twenty years old, threatened to bring an AK-47 assault rifle and a nail bomb with the intenion of killing people. Kristopher Sadeck was arrested for these threats against his university, as well as being found with a military style knife in his dorm room. (Taunton Daily Gazette, Kelleher Harris, October 28, 2011)
Are stories similar to Kristophers about ready to unravel any day now from students with similar problems? That's entirely possible. But are fellow students to prevent something like this from happening again? Yes they are. There are a few simple steps that any fellow student can take to help those around them from reaching such an awful state.
Bringing awareness to the issue is certainly one place to start. Young adults sometimes don't realize what's happening to them inside their mind before it's too late. Encouraging students who are starting to feel stressed and out of control to seek the help of a nurse on campus is a good first step. Attention can be brought to this outlet through use of posters and emails. From there, the nurse could handle the students specific problems and inform them on what steps they should take to find stability.
Sometimes, it's easy to spot someone who's really stressed. The way a person carries themselves, talks, etc. can reveal their level of stress and agitation easily. Sometimes it takes another person to come up and talk to them, to figure out something is wrong, and to point it out and talk it through with them. It doesn't take a long term best friend to talk things out with a person, help them organize their thoughts, make them realize what's important, and keep them from doing something stupid that could mess up their future.
The great thing about being aware of the problem of violence on campus due to stress and being able to lend a friendly hand and ear towards anothers situation is that it doesn't cost anything but a few moments of your time. If someone seems upset or off, talk to them. One friend could be the difference between a young person going on to finish their degree, or continuing down a path of emotional distress that could lead to jail. Don't sit back and watch that happen to someone - be active in the lives of those around you, in the lives of your fellow peers.
Bibliography
Harris, Kelleher. "Student at Bridgewater State Charged with Death Threats - Taunton, MA - The Taunton Gazette." The Taunton Gazette. 28 Oct. 2011. Web. 06 Nov. 2011. <http://www.tauntongazette.com/education/x671077192/BSU-student-charged-with-threatening-to-kill-people>.
P.W.
So far I feel like I've met all the criteria for this paper, but I think I could use better transitions between paragraphs.
Have I made this subject important to the reader in my paper? Have I made my solution clear to the reader?
But before that, what exactly can cause a person to get to this boiling point of emotion? The simple answer is stress. As a college student, one can be under a lot of pressure. Pressure to keep grades up, to keep a job or two, to join activities, to please friends, and pressure to remain stable even under all that weight. All of this built up stress can lead to really negative emotions and can bring a young person down to a bad place. A lot of the time, a student can feel overworked and underappreciated. It's an all too common theme at this age.
Just around the end of October, charges were made against a Bridgewater State University student by the name of Kristopher J. Sadeck for threatening to bring guns and a nail bomb on campus. The student, at only twenty years old, threatened to bring an AK-47 assault rifle and a nail bomb with the intenion of killing people. Kristopher Sadeck was arrested for these threats against his university, as well as being found with a military style knife in his dorm room. (Taunton Daily Gazette, Kelleher Harris, October 28, 2011)
Are stories similar to Kristophers about ready to unravel any day now from students with similar problems? That's entirely possible. But are fellow students to prevent something like this from happening again? Yes they are. There are a few simple steps that any fellow student can take to help those around them from reaching such an awful state.
Bringing awareness to the issue is certainly one place to start. Young adults sometimes don't realize what's happening to them inside their mind before it's too late. Encouraging students who are starting to feel stressed and out of control to seek the help of a nurse on campus is a good first step. Attention can be brought to this outlet through use of posters and emails. From there, the nurse could handle the students specific problems and inform them on what steps they should take to find stability.
Sometimes, it's easy to spot someone who's really stressed. The way a person carries themselves, talks, etc. can reveal their level of stress and agitation easily. Sometimes it takes another person to come up and talk to them, to figure out something is wrong, and to point it out and talk it through with them. It doesn't take a long term best friend to talk things out with a person, help them organize their thoughts, make them realize what's important, and keep them from doing something stupid that could mess up their future.
The great thing about being aware of the problem of violence on campus due to stress and being able to lend a friendly hand and ear towards anothers situation is that it doesn't cost anything but a few moments of your time. If someone seems upset or off, talk to them. One friend could be the difference between a young person going on to finish their degree, or continuing down a path of emotional distress that could lead to jail. Don't sit back and watch that happen to someone - be active in the lives of those around you, in the lives of your fellow peers.
Bibliography
Harris, Kelleher. "Student at Bridgewater State Charged with Death Threats - Taunton, MA - The Taunton Gazette." The Taunton Gazette. 28 Oct. 2011. Web. 06 Nov. 2011. <http://www.tauntongazette.com/education/x671077192/BSU-student-charged-with-threatening-to-kill-people>.
P.W.
So far I feel like I've met all the criteria for this paper, but I think I could use better transitions between paragraphs.
Have I made this subject important to the reader in my paper? Have I made my solution clear to the reader?
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