I'll write the intro last.
When you compare the cost of installing, updating, and repairing the technology that could replace books, it would make more sense to just update the libraries list of books. In David Abel's "Welcome to the library. Say goodbye to the books." he says that one school is looking to spend nearly $500,000 on a learning center focused on technology. Keep in mind that technology gets outdated and must be replaced to keep up with the times. Now consider how many books or other tools for learning that could be bought with that money instead. Skipping over the fancy technology for a more basic method just makes more sense.
It's also important to keep in mind that computers and the wealth of information that they have the potential to bring to a students fingertips are not the solution to all academic problems. Everyone with a computer at home and a free evening can learn anything online, but do they? The real key to a child's intellectual success in school is not the availability of the information, but instead, the accountability that a teacher, assignments, and grades put on them. As Dave Gelertner said in his essay "Should Schools Be Wired To The Internet?", students just need to "drill it, memorize it, because you must master it whether it's fun or not." So again, catching up with technology could just be a waste of time and money, as it has great potential to do absolutely nothing.
Consider again that computers and other forms of learning technology doesn't work for everyone. One look at Dave Walker's "This Gadget is Everything I Have Ever Wanted" can tell you that. In his comic, he shows that his small device that's meant to be compact and easy for him to access just gives him "strain and injury". Again, his device hurts where it's supposed to help in that it makes him feel disconnected from those around him. A device that's supposed to help him stay on task, make life easier, and keep connected to his peers, actually affects him negatively and hurts him in all of those areas. Obviously, he can't be the only person who feels this way about technology, and we can't afford to let this would-be breakthrough hinder students.
In conclusion, it doesn't make sense for schools and colleges to earnestly try to keep up with technology. Learning centers that some schools are trying to install are too costly with little return. On top of that, computers aren't as great of a learning tool as some people let them on to be. Lastly, a good percentage of people can't even learn well through the technology that these schools want to install. Without a doubt, schools should not try to keep up with the advances in technology and should just stick to the same old method that's worked for countless years.
Hi Ashley:
ReplyDeleteWell done. You are clear, fluent and thoughtful. You announce a thesis clearly and stay true to that.
But what I like best about this draft is the skill with which you weave information from the three given sources. That bodes very well for the work that we will do later in the semester when we encounter sources.
I suppose that if you had acknowledged the potential that technology has to enable student learning that might give you even more credibility (tech can be useful, no?), but still you make some good arguments on your side against relying purely on tech in schools.
Promising.
you make a very good point here: Keep in mind that technology gets outdated and must be replaced to keep up with the times. Now consider how many books or other tools for learning that could be bought with that money instead. Skipping over the fancy technology for a more basic method just makes more sense.
good use of source: but instead, the accountability that a teacher, assignments, and grades put on them. As Dave Gelertner said in his essay "Should Schools Be Wired To The Internet?", students just need to "drill it, memorize it, because you must master it whether it's fun or not." So again, catching up with technology could just be a waste of time and money, as it has great potential to do absolutely nothing.
note subject/verb agreement problem: other forms of learning technology doesn't work
Talk Back
ReplyDeleteIn your response to the first draft of my diagnostic essay, you told me the strong and weak points of my essay, as well as pointing out a grammatical error. It seems that my ability to work information from my sources was well done. You also pointed out, though, that my essay would have more credibility if I were to incorporate the pros of using technology in a school setting and not just the cons. I feel that your assessment of my essay was thorough and no positive or negative feedback was left out. You said everything that had to be said about it. To leave off with, I feel that there was something from writing this essay that I could use in class in the future. The instruction about using all three sources throughout the paper was something I tried to strictly follow. It was a little challenging trying to work all three into this simple essay, but I did it, and the practice with definitely be valuable for future assignments with a similar requirement.