Proposal Second Draft

As the stories pile up in the news and on the internet, it becomes an
increasingly undeniable fact that school violence is on the rise.
College students are among those getting angrier and resorting to
violence in their words and actions. This can be brought on by many
factors, but there are some things that all fellow students can do to
help the situation.

    But before that, what exactly causes a person to reach this
boiling point of emotion? The simple answer is stress. As a college
student, one can be under a lot of pressure. Pressure to keep grades
up, to keep a job or two, to join activities, to please friends, and
pressure to remain stable even under the weight of it all.  A lot of
the time, a student can feel overworked and underappreciated. It's an
all too common theme at this age.  This built up stress can lead to
feelings of alienation and can bring a young person down to a bad
place emotionally.

    This may have been the case last October, when charges were made
against a Bridgewater State University student by the name of
Kristopher J. Sadeck.  He was reported as having threatened to smuggle
guns and a nail bomb onto the campus. The student, at only twenty
years old, threatened to bring an AK-47 assault rifle and a nail bomb
with the intention of killing people. Kristopher Sadeck was arrested
for these threats against his university, as well as being found with
a military style knife in his dorm room. (Taunton Daily Gazette,
Kelleher Harris, October 28, 2011)

    While it is currently uncertain exactly why he was pushed to this
point, based on his roommate’s statements about his constant threats
of suicide and violence, it is safe to conclude that the stresses of
college brought him to the breaking point (Enterprise News, Kelleher
Harris, October 28, 2011). Are stories similar to Kristopher’s ready
to unravel any day now on a BCC campus, acted out by students with
similar problems? That's entirely possible. But are there things that
fellow students can do to prevent something like this from happening
again? In a word, yes. There are a few simple steps that any student
can take to help those around them from falling into such an awful
state.

    Bringing awareness to the issue is certainly one place to start.
Young adults sometimes don't realize what's happening to them inside
their mind until it's too late. Encouraging students who are starting
to feel stressed and out of control to seek the help of a nurse on
campus is a good first step. Attention can be brought to this outlet
through use of posters and emails. From there, the nurse could handle
the student’s specific problems and inform them on what steps they
should take to find stability.

    But to do this, one must first find those who need help.
Sometimes, it's easy to spot someone who's really stressed. The way a
person carries him or herself, talks, etc. can reveal their level of
stress and agitation easily. Sometimes it takes active participation
on the part of an individual to figure out if something is wrong; they
have to point it out and talk it through with them. It doesn't take a
long term best friend to talk things out with a person, help them
organize their thoughts, make them realize what's important, and keep
them from doing something stupid that could mess up their future.  All
it takes is a willingness to help others.

    Being aware of violence in schools settings doesn’t mean one has
to live in fear of it’s specter.  Rather, it’s empowering because it
gives students the opportunity to help their fellow classmates,
knowing that it won’t cost them anything but a few moments of their
time.  If someone seems upset or off, talk to them. One friend could
be the difference between a young person going on to finish their
degree, or continuing down a path of emotional distress that could
lead to jail. Don't sit back and watch that happen to someone - be
active in the lives of your fellow peers and stop tragedies before
they start.

Bibliography

Harris, Kelleher. "Student at Bridgewater State Charged with Death Threats - Taunton, MA - The Taunton Gazette." The Taunton Gazette. 28 Oct. 2011. Web. 06 Nov. 2011. <http://www.tauntongazette.com/education/x671077192/BSU-student-charged-with-threatening-to-kill-people>.

Harris, Kelleher. "Student Being Evaluated after Claiming to Have a Deadly ‘surprise’ for BSU Campus - Brockton, MA - The Enterprise." The Enterprise, MA News - Brockton, MA - The Enterprise. 28 Oct. 2011. Web. 12 Nov. 2011. http://www.enterprisenews.com/bsu/x163303554/Student-being-evaluated-after-claiming-to-have-a-deadly-surprise-for-BSU-campus.

 

P.W.

I feel like I've really cleaned up my essay and made my solution more clear. I added more information about the BSU guy by drawing upon another similar news story on the same incident.

Has the information from the similar article added enough information about Kristophers motives? Have I made the threat of this problem in our community clear enough to the reader?